Friday, February 11, 2011

Disappearing Friends

It's awareness day 11, and while this is not a CHD statistic, it is a CHD reality. This was one of the things I wish I had known going into this journey...although I'm not sure I would have believed it of any of our friends. Once you have a child with a catastrophic or chronic illness, you will have friends who just disappear from your life. It will likely be the ones you would have least suspected it of.

I share this because if you are dealing with this right now, I don't want you to think it's you. It's not. It's them. I have talked with folks dealing with CHDs, folks who have lost children, folks who are dealing with cancer or other big health issues and across the board, they tell me that people have just dropped out of their lives.

It can hurt, it can make you wonder if you did something, it can make you wonder at your discernment in choosing friends. But, as I have struggled through this, God has shown me that I need to recognize His sovereignty over my friendships, just as I do in the rest of my life. If the friendships would have been beneficial during this season, they would still be here, but they are not. I have to believe that God removed those relationships for our good. Because everything He does is for His glory and our good.

I have been very blessed in that God has provided me with a huge network of heart moms. Mostly online, but some I have had the joy of getting to know in real life. They know and understand the things I am going through, and that is invaluable. Some of the people in our lives that were more on the fringes, have become better friends through our struggle, and that has been a blessing as well.

If you are dealing with disappearing friends, I would encourage you to look to the Lord. He has a purpose in them leaving your life. Embrace those who would share your journey. And, whatever you might be dealing with, CHDs, cancer, downs syndrome, whatever, I would also encourage you to make connections online. If you are in an urban setting, likely there are some sort of support locally, but for those of us who live in rural areas, the internet can be a huge blessing when it comes to support and education in our journeys. It's difficult, it hurts...I am not denying that. But, grieve the loss and move forward. Do you want detrimental people in your life? I don't. I am thankful that I can trust God's sovereignty and wisdom in my relationships as well as every other area of my life.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for posting about this and acknowledging God's sovereignty over it all.